Monday, February 2, 2009

If I had it to do all again. . .

Art entitled "Regrets" courtesy of marmota, and is shared under a creative commons licence.

The following poem was inspired by Sunday Scribblings , writing prompt # 148, on regret. "Got any? Things you wish you'd done differently? Things you wish you'd said or not said? Things you want to be sure to do and say now so that you don't end up with regrets?"

Eternal Regret -I Forgive Myself; but Can't Forget~By CordieB

I've lived a lifetime of one regret

that's dimmed with passing time; still yet

love and conscious won't allow me to forget

And so I often trick my mind

to place sordid memories far behind

still... regret creeps in from time to time ...

And then sometimes I even pretend

that day had actually not transcended

Imagine . . . starting anew again !!!

but reality knocks with raging force

thus I am left with grave remorse

perhaps that day changed my life's course??

forever regretful, my heart still aches

but my God can NOT make mistakes

I convince myself for sanity's sake

And so what IS, IS. What's meant shall be

and that's my whole tricked reality . . .

My life's anchor through soul's eternity . . .

Regret's but a piece of life that's made me, me . . .

~Written in memory of my dear mother, Marion Wallace, who died of a massive heart attack when I was 15, shortly after we'd had a terrible argument and I had left the house. I miss you, ma.


"Quote: Imagine, in the midst of a heated argument, that the person you are arguing with suddenly clutches his/her heart, utters a cry, and falls dead at your feet. Where is your anger now?" ~Unknown


Nadege said...

Darling Cordie, I am touched by
this burden you have carried with
you, and now it is obvious where
the compassion which informs all
of your poetry is born of, this
memory so long ago.

You are strong enough and have faith enough to forgive yourself-
and I admire you for your deep
faith and your wisdom.

Your Mother surely looks down upon
you, her precious daughter and forgives you and is proud of the
woman you have become.


CordieB said...

@Nadege. Thanks for the love, Nadege. The emotions this poem evokes seems to make me need love more than usual.